A breakup has many negative connotations. Practically only negative. Failure, defeat, sadness, hurt, heartbreak, abandoned and so on.
Imagine if we could turn breakup into something positive?!
Or if not a 100% positive, then a least a somewhat neutral or at least a blessing in disguise.
In some cases a breakup is necessary!
Every time two people break up, it’s necessary - otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. By that I mean that there is an enormous amount of growth potential whenever a breakup is happening.
You can decide whether to let this defeat you, harden your heart, feel bitter and angry or you can turn it around - turn it into a positive.
Think of breakup as a form of reset or reboot of the two of you as individuals - and the relationship for that matter. See the situation as a quick way for both of you to get back in alignment with yourself without having to take the other person into consideration which is what brought you here in the first place. (Thinking about what the other person wants and not feeling aligned with those needs.)
The two parties that are breaking up are no longer aligned with each other and the relationship so it has to end. It has to end to make room for something new.
A lot of people find this incredibly hard to do while being in a relationship because it is really hard to stop thinking, feeling and behaving in the way that are causing a lot of things to go wrong. So to be able to make that reset the couple must break apart.
Think about it not as a failure but as a fast track to figure out what you want for yourself! If both of you figure out what your own part in the breakup was the more likely it is that the two of you will end up back together.
But you have to NOT take the other person into consideration and that’s the hard part.
Think of it like this; he is standing in the middle of a circle and that circle represents his mind, his space, his energy - him!
And the same goes for you. You’re in the middle of a circle too and that circle is your being.
Every time you think that he should have done, or why did he do, or he is so annoying; you are in his circle - abandoning your own circle! And vice versa.
So no one is “home” when you go “visit” each other because you are consumed by the other person instead of staying home, feeling grounded with your own needs and wants.
Have you ever experienced that as soon as you stopped thinking about someone or as soon as you let something or someone go in your mind all of a sudden they texted you, called you, sent you an email?? You went back home, left his circle! And that’s where he found you in the first place - at home; in your own circle.
When someone pushes you away he pushes you back into yourself, and if you can stay there right after a breakup the negative emotions will dissipate leaving you to interpret the situation however positive you want it to be...