If you're being honest with yourself right now, would you say that you sometimes take a low blow when arguing with your partner? Do you sometimes, maybe every time, say something that you know triggers him because he’s hurting you and you want to ‘win’ the argument?
What if I then asked you: "Is it working for you?" Do you guys argue less with this tactic? Do you feel good after the argument and are the two of you growing a stronger bond; a more loving and respectful relationship?
Yesterday I talked about the blame game so there is no reason for an explanation as to why you’re doing it. That he might be ten times worse and that he triggers you first and all of that. He can trigger you all he wants but if you take responsibility for your own reaction you keep your own power and leave him with nothing more than words.
I will 100% agree with you that taking the high road is not easy, and taking the high road every time is near impossible because we’re all just human.
But if you decide to take the high road I can promise you you will see a shift!
First and foremost you will feel better about yourself because you really did the best that you could. You didn’t take his bait when he pushed your buttons. You stood your ground and did not give your power to him.
I don’t believe it’s ever about winning - even though I am very competitive by nature and did divide many things into winning or losing when I was younger.
The only thing I still want to consider a win is if you do better by yourself and by your relationship. It’s never about doing better than your partner; it’s about doing what’s best for the two of you. And since you’re the one reading this you somehow ‘chose’ to be the taker of the high road…
I am somehow lucky to not be combative at all and very rarely feel the need to say hurtful things when I strongly disagree with my husband (even though he is the only other person besides my parents who can push my buttons!!!).
Because he is the first person I’ve ever really argued with, it's clear as day to me how words are just words, and I can let them control me or I can see them for what they are; his reaction and only his.
It says everything about him and nothing about me - only if I allow it to.
And me taking the high road says a whole lot about me and not really anything about him. Or, it does ‘say’ that we attracted each other and therefore can learn many things from one another. He has definitely taught me to reconnect with aspects of myself that I had suppressed as long as I can remember. So thank you for pushing my buttons babe <3