Emotional distance in relationships

I’m sure you have felt it at some point in a relationship; emotional distance. It can be looked at from two different angles. You have an emotional distant partner or you feel emotionally distant from your partner; from your relationship.

If your partner is emotionally distant in reality he is distant from himself; from his own alignment and what brings him joy and happiness in life.

A first and very common response to his behaviour is that you take it personally. You think: “What did I do wrong and how can I make it better?”. Often that translates into you being more needy and clingy than usual which is not helping the situation.

You can not bring him back to him by trying to get him to focus on you; on your relationship. You need to give him some space; to focus more on him, less on you and make sure that you of course still show him love so he knows that you're still there without demanding a lot from him.

I’m all about communication - that’s basically what I do for a living - so also verbalize it to him. That this is what you're observing and you’re right here so he doesn’t feel pressured.

Even if his withdrawal has anything to do with your relationship you pressuring him will not make him change his mind or come back around. That’s what breakups are for. The separation takes pressure away from the exchange of you guys’ attention toward each other and allows you to get happy in your individual skin.

If you feel emotionally distant from your relationship and your partner you are not in alignment with your happiness either.

If you’re having a blast all the time outside of your relationship you probably should consider ending that. But if you’re just not sure what’s going on, know that everything will be OK. You might be entering a new chapter in your life shedding old stuff that doesn’t serve you anymore.

That doesn’t mean your partner. It could be the way you look at your body that’s not kind enough. Or you realize that you are doing so much for other people while not really doing anything for yourself.

So give yourself time. And let your partner in on it. Let him know that it has nothing to do with him; you just need to be for a while to reconnect to yourself.

Emotional distance can feel frustrating, nerve wracking and scary but when it all comes down to it nothing can be forced. Try to force it and the process will be longer and it’ll create unnecessary tension in your relationship. It’s a great way of practicing staying in your own lane and trusting in your love. It’s easy to trust when everything is fine right?

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