When you can't stop thinking about someone and especially right now during quarantine, I want to invite you to see this as very good practice for future use.
This is the perfect opportunity to learn how to discipline your thoughts more than ever!
With that being said, I know it’s extremely hard and doesn’t feel like just a matter of directing your thoughts in a certain direction.
There are feelings involved and you can’t just turn off your feelings right? But hear me out…
First I want to ask you why you think about him? Is it because you want to get back with him, because you’re angry or because you’re bored? The answer might not be clear to you.
Maybe you just feel like you need him in your life and don’t know where to put him anymore because your relationship has changed status.
With your mind constantly consumed with him and what he’s doing and what he’s up too, you’re giving away your energy, your power and space in your brain to him - that you could have used for yourself.
He might even be able to make or break your day depending on what he’ll text you back or not text you back at all. That’s obviously not a good place to be in.
Combined with giving away your power - which just to be clear, women and men all over the planet are doing this all the time! You’re not alone and it’s very common. We are conditioned from childhood.
Other people give us happiness and joy when we do something for them and follow their agenda; parents, teachers, authority figures.
Anyways, combined with above, thinking about your ex still is not really a good thing right? Society today expects us to break up and be over it. Even though it never ever happens this way we’re only given a certain amount of time to dwell on what was until we're expected to ‘get over it’.
Similar to what I talked about in my last post about texting your ex, we feel that if we have willpower it will no longer be a problem.
Be gentle with yourself. These feelings are here to tell you something.
Just to be clear, your feelings will never tell you that he is the only man that will ever make you happy or he needs to do something for you for you to be able to stop the thinking.
Your feelings will never tell you that you need to atone for something to deserve something.
But your feelings might tell you that you need love and attention! And he is not the only person that can give it to you the way you want it.
You must stop beating yourself up about thinking about him first and foremost. That's not the way to go about it.
Be honest about why you’re thinking about him and be kind to yourself. Love yourself and know that you can do whatever you want to do - especially direct all that energy he is getting right now and use it for yourself. All that brain space is supposed to be used for yourself and not someone that doesn’t make you feel good. You can do it - just redirect your thoughts a little bit each and every day and you’ll get there I promise.