My boyfriend doesn't pay attention to me

What if he doesn’t take you seriously enough? If he doesn’t really pay attention to you and your feelings and you feel really neglected?

In relationships we sometimes have this expectation that our partners need to do a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to us feeling good and loved.

We expect him to lift us up when we’re down because we seek him and his attention to feel better.

If he then can’t help us in that moment because he is distracted or has a lot on his mind our own emotional so-called problem becomes his when it’s actually not.

If he does it on a consistent basis you might want to sit down and have a chat with him about your obvious miscommunication.

Consider whether you’re speaking the same love language. He might be showering you with affection when you're watching tv at night and all you need from him is to tell you about his feelings.

Does he even know that you feel not taken seriously or paid attention to? Or are you expecting him to read your mind and read between the lines?

Consider if the void and the hole you right now want him to fill up is there because you’re aware that he is not doing what he is ‘supposed’ to? Would you feel depleted if you were not aware of what he is not doing?

Did it start out with a small insignificant thing and has now grown into a real thing because of your attention to its absence? You know where attention goes, energy flows - ALSO when we feel lack and absence. Lack will automatically attract and create more lack!

You could also consider giving HIM what YOU want.

Give it to yourself, but also give it to him.

Don’t demand anything from another person that you're not willing to give yourself. And not to get something in return like you’re making a good deal.

“I give this to you and then I expect for you to return the deed - sometimes without me saying it out loud because isn’t it obvious what I want?”

It is not obvious! Don’t ever think that anything is obvious when it comes to feelings that are not yours.

You are with him for a reason and maybe you should focus on that for a bit.

I’m not saying that because I don't take your situation seriously. I’m saying it because you can’t solve the problem by staring at it too much. It'll grow bigger and harder to solve.

Make sure you're kind to yourself and kind to your man. Give him a little bit of what you want so he can feel inspired and you can benefit from the good that definitely will come out of that.

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