Long distance relationships or not living together can take a toll on anyone.
Living together can also take a toll, and that’s what I talk about all day every day.
But today I want to talk about physical distance between people.
When you are apart and don’t get to see each other on a daily basis, insecurity can set in.
There is so much nonverbal communication going on at all times when we’re together so take that away and we are only left with words. Words that can be misinterpreted, text messages that are not consistent enough for one person and way too much for another person.
Phone calls that require both you and your partner to be very vulnerable and open about your feelings because the nonverbal conversation that we rely so much on is missing.
Going through a breakup the physical distance feels louder than ever. If you’ve lived together your world can feel like it’s turned upside down.
So much was done on autopilot before and the comfort of the other person's presence has left a huge void.
In the case of a breakup the distance is obviously needed. Otherwise there wouldn’t have been a breakup if you or your partner hadn’t needed a break from the relationship.
Even if the distance feels weird, uncomfortable, unsafe, uncertain and sad, it is needed. To get back to happiness, to get back together, to get back to yourself; you need to let the distance work for you and know that the rough times are when you’re figuring it all out!
Whenever it feels terrible, know that you can make it better and no one else is supposed to make it better right now. The breakup happened for a reason so spend this time getting more into alignment with what you want for yourself, a future relationship and out of life overall.
When you’re in a relationship and have physical distance words become so important and powerful. But also the intention behind them. Make sure that you’re not relying on his text or phone call to make or break your day.
Because if it doesn’t go the way you want to, then what?
Make sure to show him love and appreciation with words or your intention if you don’t feel that comfortable expressing feelings over the phone. Just make sure you don’t demand something of him that you are not giving to him or are willing to give.
So obviously physical distance is challenging because the nonverbal communication is missing but that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible.
Be aware of what you demand and how you go about it. Be aware of your intentions! And last but not least; you are two different people with two different ways of looking at things. You can not expect him to read your mind and do exactly what you’re hoping for. Especially not if you’re not being open and honest by communicating that to him.