Stop the blame game

These days you are closer with your partner than ever - physically that is but not necessarily mentally. If you are like people are most, the closeness, the confinement and limited freedom to move around can take a toll on you..

Are you guys fighting more and maybe even drifting apart because you're going crazy over the whole situation?

If that's the situation or you just want to have tools to deflate potential arguments before they get started (even when we are not dealing with a global pandemic) here goes:

Stop blaming each other and the circumstances!

I know you can only do your part, but if you stop pointing your fingers at him or it (whatever 'it' might be) you stop adding fuel to the fire.

When you start to take accountability for your own mood and your own behavior and your own thoughts (you might want to start with the thoughts as they are setting the standard for everything that follows) he will not have much ammunition to create momentum for an argument.

And when you start to think about your thoughts and your behaviour and realize that this and this and that have affected you but you could have chosen a different reaction, it becomes interesting and incredibly liberating.

You are now empowered by yourself to choose your own reaction and you can choose to take the high road with your partner. and you might even realize that 90% of your arguments are literally about other stuff than what you're arguing about.

It's not about him ignoring you when he is on his phone, you just don't feel seen and valued. It's not about you doing all the house work and him not participating, you just don't feel seen and valued.

It's not about him going out too much with his friends (maybe now he's meeting with them online all the time now), you just don't feel seen and valued.

You see where I'm going??

So stop blaming him, or the quarantine, or your job situation, or his family or money or, or, or. Take accountability for your thoughts and beliefs. A whole new world of empowerment will open up...

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