Has your mom, dad, partner, co-worker or friend ever told you that you shouldn’t feel a certain type of way? That you either overreacted, were silly or maybe even not reacting enough??
And have you ever thought they were right?
Maybe you shouldn’t feel like this because it wasn’t that bad or maybe you feel embarrassed about how you feel?
Let me put the record straight once and for all; your feelings are always right! You can never feel ‘wrong’!
People can accuse you of overreacting, being too sensitive or not sensitive enough when you don’t stand up for yourself all they want. It’s pretty obvious you can’t win!
People will always have opinions, especially about things that mean a lot to them. That being patterns they have struggled with, things they’ve learned the hard way and so on. And even though we have several of the same habits and struggles only YOU know what YOU need and that’s why your emotional response is the way it is.
Just like the people around you have emotional responses (feelings) that correspond to their needs and desires in life.
So I’m asking you to please not neglect your feelings.
They’re trying to tell you something.
But it might not be obvious. Just because you feel entitled to an apology from your partner because you felt he was disloyal or unfair does NOT mean that the apology is the way to make it right again.
You have to learn what the feeling is really about.
An easy way to figure that out is simply to close your eyes and feel.
Do you feel betrayed, not heard, not seen, not enough, neglected etc?
That’s the feeling you want to heal and take care of. Be gentle with yourself. And keep in mind that your feelings are guiding you towards what you want or away from what you want.
If this is something that makes you feel good, do more. If you feel the opposite, do less. And if you feel that other people are doing this ‘to you’ remember that no one can push a button that is not there. No one can evoke a feeling in you that is not already there.
My point with this post is for you to be OK with everything you feel and don’t feel wrong, embarrassed or awkward because other people tell you differently. Have compassion for yourself, know that you are doing the best you can and have kind inner dialogues. Like you would with a little child or your best friend.
To figure out how to handle the buttons that your partner - of all people - might be pushing a little bit too often you are more than welcome to book a session with me. Together we will look through your patterns and habits to figure out why these buttons are being pushed all the time.
No matter how lost you feel in your life or your relationship and how confusing everything seems, your emotions never stopped working! They’re exactly right and you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be - to be able to begin the next chapter in your life.